it doesn't really matter what you use. the only difference is that in a glove for softball the glove is made smaller because a women's hand is usually smaller than a man's hand.
Both bats and gloves are governed by certain rules which apply to both games. First, remember when it comes to rules for equipment there is little to no distinction between fastpitch softball and slowpitch softball.
In Baseball there are three basic levels of amateur play - youth (Little League, Dixie, Babe Ruth, etc.), senior baseball (ages 13 through 15), and adult (high school and college). For this question we will not discuss t-ball, professional or post college adult recreational leagues.
Let's talk about bats first.
In youth baseball Little League Inc. is king, and they spend money more on testing equipment and safety than the other youth leagues, so most of the other youth leagues follow Little League, Inc.'s lead. The bat rule in Little League requires, among other things, the bat be no more than 2 1/4" in diameter at the widest point in the barrel. It also stipulates the bat cannot perform better than a 1.15 BPF (Bat Performance Factor). Without getting into what that is, suffice it to say that bats must be sent in by the manufacturers and Little League tests them in a certain way and makes sure they are within the 1.15 BPF.
In "big barrel" or travel ball leagues there are little to no bat restrictions.
In high school and NCAA play the bat must meet BESR (Ball Exit Speed Ration) standards to prevent the ball coming off the bat any faster than desired by the rules committee. The bat must also be 2 5/8" in diameter in the barrel.
Softball has a completely different set of governing bodies which dictate bat rules by a different set of standards. The ASA (Amateur Softball Association) is right now one of the largest softball organizations and their rules govern high school and NCAA softball as well.
Why different rules for baseball and softball? Because the balls are completely different. Softball is actually an oxymoron because the ball is much harder than a baseball. It's compression value is greater than a baseball, so it comes off of the bat faster than a baseball. Therefore the 2 games need different rules to keep the games safe.
The glove...
Although most fastpitch softball gloves are made with smaller finger stalls and wrist openings, they can actually be bigger than a baseball glove by the rules. In the Rules of Baseball no glove on the field can be bigger than 12 1/2" from heel to the top of the forefinger, except the first baseman's and catcher's mitt. In softball the ASA requires no glove be bigger than 14". Some other leagues in softball have no specific glove rule. Regardless of the rules, I have never seen or heard of any umpire ejecting a glove based on size.
The pocket is generally deeper in a softball specific glove as well, so using it in baseball one may find that digging the baseball out of the deep pocket is a bit more difficult. When shopping for a softball glove be sure to see if it is made for slowpitch or fastpitch. Slowpitch gloves are made for men and fastpitch gloves are made for girls and women.
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