Generally, no. Boys tend to be far more aggressive, particularly at youth levels. Some girls do play as aggressively (sometimes even moreso) than boys, and when they do, they tend to be better at it.
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It can be aggressive depending on how old. If you are younger, then probably not that aggressive, but as you gt older, you can kind of choose the level of hardness. If you are signing up, there are some places that have a level of hardness and aggressiveness